Stains
Lights up to find a BEN, 28 years old, on his hands and knees with a scrub brush. He’s wearing sweat shorts and a cut off t-shirt. His hair is matted with sweat, as he’s been scrubbing the floor for awhile. This is the floor of his apartment. He dips the brush into the water again, and scrubs harder. There’s one spot that he can’t seem to get out. He scrubs, then looks at it, scrubs again, gets his face close to the floor and it’s not gone.
BEN
Shit!
He chucks the brush into the bucket, and the water goes splashes everywhere.
BEN
Fuuuuuuck!
BEN looks at the mess he’s made, and just sinks down on his butt, tired and discouraged. There is the sound of the apartment door opening and closing. BEN looks fearfully toward the sound, then in a panic at the mess.
JUSTIN (offstage)
Hello?
BEN
Shit!
BEN looks around for something to clean up the spilled water, and he’s got nothing. He looks down at this shirt.
JUSTIN
Ben? What did you say? I’ve got groceries. Can you give me a hand?
BEN
I’m in the den, Justin. Be there in a sec.
BEN looks down, removes his shirt, and quickly mops up the water off the floor. JUSTIN’s voice is getting closer now.
JUSTIN
Never mind. It’s not that much. I’ll put it away in a second. Why are you in here?
BEN throws his t-shirt into the bucket, sits on the spot he was scrubbing, and assumes a casual but sexy pose. JUSTIN enters on his last question. He’s about 26 years old, wearing a crisp pair of khakis and a white button down shirt. Everything about him is put together. Precise. Hair, glasses, belt, shoes. He’s a bit pristine. The antithesis of BEN.
BEN (with a big smile)
Hi!
JUSTIN
Hi?
BEN
How’s it goin’?
JUSTIN
It’s going fine. Why are you in here?
BEN
Oh, just hangin’ out.
JUSTIN looks at the bucket and points to it.
JUSTIN
With a bucket of water?
BEN
Oh that. (He laughs it off.) I was just uh using it for some new exercises I read about in a magazine.
JUSTIN
What kind of exercises?
BEN (searching)
I uh read about them at the dentist’s office the other day. It’s called uhm aqua lifting.
JUSTIN
Aqua lifting?
BEN
Yeah, aqua lifting. You uh use a bucket full of water to do bicep curls and shoulder presses. Stuff like that.
JUSTIN
Why?
BEN
Why?
JUSTIN
Yes, Ben. Why? We have free weights here already. Why do you need to use a bucket of water?
BEN
Uh, well, the magazine said that the water makes it harder to do the exercises. The sloshing around creates an imbalance, and your muscles have to overcompensate and they get bigger. See?
BEN makes a muscle to show JUSTIN. BEN’s a good-looking guy, so the muscle looks good to JUSTIN, who eases off just a bit.
JUSTIN
Well, just be careful when you take the bucket away. I don’t want you to make a mess.
BEN
Jesus, Justin, I’m not going to make a mess.
JUSTIN
It’s Justin, not Jesus Justin, and I know you well enough to know that a bucket of water plus a walk to the kitchen or bathroom will equal water all over the place if you don’t take your time. So take your time.
JUSTIN sits down in a chair across the room facing BEN. BEN is a bit stung from the last comment, but he knows better than to get into an argument over it.
JUSTIN
How was your day? (He’s removing his shoes.)
BEN
Fine. Uneventful. I went for a run, came back, wrote for about two hours, and then made some lunch. Wrote for another two hours, and then started to do these exercises. And here we are. How was your day?
JUSTIN
Not quite so leisurely.
BEN
I wouldn’t say my day was leisurely.
JUSTIN
You were home all day.
BEN
But I was writing for most of that.
JUSTIN
Sure, that’s nice.
BEN is again stung by this.
BEN
What happened at the office today?
JUSTIN
The usual. My boss acted like an asshole from the moment he got in this morning, terrorizing his assistant and mine, and generally making a mess of three of my accounts. I spent the afternoon making phone calls to clients and trying to calm them down, and getting the assistants not to quit. It’s nice to be home. No messes to clean up. As long as you don’t spill the water.
BEN
I won’t spill the water!
JUSTIN
OK, OK, calm down. I’m just giving you a hard time.
BEN
I’m sick of you harping on me about the so-called messes.
JUSTIN
So-called messes? Ben, we have a lot of accidents here in Apartment 412.
BEN
And?
JUSTIN
And I think if you were a little more careful about stuff, the apartment would stay cleaner. We can’t afford to have Rosa come in more than twice a month, so that means—
BEN
Got it, Justin. I get it, OK? Just stop talking about it.
BEN turns away from JUSTIN, but he doesn’t get up off the floor.
JUSTIN
Now, Benjamin, don’t get all bent out of shape.
BEN
Don’t call me that. You know I hate it when you do that.
JUSTIN
Benjamin—
BEN
I’m serious, Justin! My mother calls me that when she’s angry with me, and I—
JUSTIN
I know, and I love it when she does it.
BEN
You’re not my mother, so stop using that name.
JUSTIN
Touchy!
BEN
Me?
JUSTIN
Yes, you. You’re in a rotten mood.
BEN
I’m not the one who’s badgering about messes.
JUSTIN
I’m not badgering you.
BEN
You are so. You haven’t let up since you came in the door.
JUSTIN
Well, I’d just like to come home to an apartment that’s clean and orderly. My day is full of cleaning up other people’s messes, and I don’t want to do it at home too. Is that so much to ask?
BEN is silent.
JUSTIN
Ben? Is that so much to ask?
BEN
No. I guess not.
JUSTIN
I’m just trying to find some harmony. Peace and quiet. It’s not happening at work, so it would be nice to have it at home.
BEN
Sure.
JUSTIN moves to the floor where BEN is sitting. He squats down and looks at BEN.
JUSTIN
OK?
BEN
OK.
JUSTIN
Are we ok?
BEN
We’re fine.
JUSTIN
Good…
JUSTIN touches BEN’s legs. He slides his hands up BEN’s shorts, and leans in to kiss him. BEN resists at first, but JUSTIN’s hands in his shorts begin to break him down. BEN kisses JUSTIN back, and the two begin to make out on the floor. JUSTIN is on top of BEN at first. He takes off his crisp, white shirt, and BEN pulls off his belt. BEN then flips JUSTIN over onto his back and proceeds to kiss him again. BEN has forgotten about the very large stain on the floor. As the two get more involved in their making out, JUSTIN gets on top again. He’s kissing down BEN’s chest to his waistband, when he suddenly sees the stain. JUSTIN jumps off of BEN and looks at the floor.
JUSTIN
What the hell is that?
BEN
What?
JUSTIN
The huge stain on the floor.
BEN
Justin…
JUSTIN
Ben, what did you do?
BEN (trying to re-engage JUSTIN in the making out)
Can’t we talk about it later?
JUSTIN
No, we’re not talking about it later. What’s all over the floor?
BEN
It’s bleach.
JUSTIN
Bleach?!?!
BEN
Bleach, Justin.
JUSTIN
How did it get there?
BEN
I was on my way out the door to go downstairs to the laundry room. I had the laundry basket full of clothes with the detergent and bleach on top. My phone was in here, and it started to ring. I ran to try to get the call, the bleach popped out of the basket and hit the floor. The cap wasn’t on tight enough, and it came off and bleach spilled out on the floor. I grabbed the phone and got the call. But by the time I got the bleach wiped up, it had stained the floor.
JUSTIN
I can’t believe this. You ran to get the phone and you ruined the floor.
BEN
Justin, it’s the den. You and I are the only ones who come in here. I work in here. It’s not like it’s the living room or something.
JUSTIN
We just had these floors re-done last month! It cost a fortune, and you’ve ruined it. This is what I’m talking about with the messes.
BEN
It was an accident!
JUSTIN
It’s always an accident, Ben! I understand that it’s an accident, but you have more accidents than a five year old and a new puppy combined. It’s like living with a child.
BEN
I’m not a child.
JUSTIN
Well, you act one. All the time.
BEN
All the time?
JUSTIN
Yeah, all the time. Your clothes are everywhere. You leave food in the sink. The bathroom is disgusting. The milk in the refrigerator is three days past the expiration date. I couldn’t even make a cup of coffee this morning before I left for work! You take no responsibility for any of the chores—
BEN
I just said I was going to do the laundry!
JUSTIN
And you destroyed the floor!
BEN
It’s a stain, Justin! You’re having a fucking fit over a stain on the floor in a room that you barely ever come into.
JUSTIN
That’s not the point!
BEN
Then what’s the point?
JUSTIN
The point is that you and I are not making this work the way we said we would.
BEN
That’s because you’re acting like a Donna Reed Nazi about the apartment.
JUSTIN
It’s my apartment, Ben. You moved into my apartment.
BEN
I moved in because you wanted me to move in.
JUSTIN
I offered for you to move in because you couldn’t stand living with that crazy woman anymore. I’m beginning to think she wasn’t so crazy.
BEN
Come off it, Justin! You know damned right well that she’s nuts. And a total hag. Telling people we were getting a divorce when I was moving out. Introducing me as the Will to her Grace. She’s a fucking nightmare.
JUSTIN
Maybe you didn’t help the situation with your shitty living habits, Ben. You’re a disaster! I’m starting to think she had a right to be pissed at you all the time.
BEN
I can’t believe that you’re saying all of this over a stain on the floor.
JUSTIN
It’s not just the stain on the floor! Haven’t you been listening to me? It’s all of the other stuff too.
BEN
We were together for a year and a half. You came to my place all those times. You knew what you were getting into, Justin.
JUSTIN
Knowing it and living it are two different things, Ben.
BEN
Yeah, well, I knew you were a neat freak, but knowing that and living with you are two different things too. You’re driving me crazy with all of this! I feel like I can’t even breathe in my own apartment! And it’s my apartment too. I live here now, Justin. You keep calling it “your apartment” in front of our friends, my family. My sister even asked me what was up with you.
JUSTIN
I worked hard for this apartment, Ben. I spent six years saving up to be able to buy this place, and I want it to be nice. You have no respect for that.
BEN
That’s not true!
JUSTIN
Then why do you keep dumping shit all over the floor?!? Last week it was red wine, the week before it was your muddy soccer cleats. Today it’s bleach.
BEN
Accidents happen, man! It’s not like I’m doing it on purpose, for Christ’s sake!
JUSTIN
I don’t care that they’re accidents! I want you to STOP DOING IT! STOP RUINING MY APARTMENT!
BEN just looks at JUSTIN. He looks at the bucket on the floor.
BEN
You just did it again.
JUSTIN
Did what?
BEN
“MY apartment.”
JUSTIN
So?
BEN
So when is it going to be our apartment? Our home?
JUSTIN
It is our home.
BEN
It doesn’t feel like it. Not when you act like this.
JUSTIN
Don’t try to make this my fault now?
BEN
I’m not making it anyone’s fault, Justin. I’m just starting to realize that maybe this is a bad idea.
JUSTIN
What? Living together?
BEN
Definitely that. But maybe the whole thing.
JUSTIN
What?
BEN
I don’t think I can live like this with you. And if we can’t live together, I’m not sure we should be together.
JUSTIN
Ben, it’s a disagreement. Couples have arguments.
BEN
This is a big disagreement. You’ve called me a child. You’re saying this is your apartment. Still. After six months of me living here. This is more complicated than me spilling things.
JUSTIN
You’re overreacting.
BEN
I don’t think I’m the one overreacting.
BEN looks at JUSTIN. JUSTIN turns away, picks up his shirt, puts it back on and begins to button it up.
BEN
Justin?
JUSTIN
I think you should probably go. At least for the night. I need to think.
BEN
Uh huh.
JUSTIN
I want to make this work, but I’m not sure I can. I thought I could, but you’re mess is way more than I’m used to.
BEN
And you’re cleanliness is suffocating me.
Silence. BEN is looking for a response and getting nothing from JUSTIN.
BEN
Fine. I’ll go to Julie’s. Stay on her couch. When you’re ready to talk about this, you call me. I’ll get a bag of clothes and go.
JUSTIN nods. BEN starts to leave the room, but stops.
BEN
This was your idea, Justin. Remember that. You wanted this.
JUSTIN
I know.
BEN exits. JUSTIN is left standing there. He looks down at the bucket and the stain as the lights go to black.
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