Another Kind of Opera Quiz
With special thanks to Verdi for the inspiration
JASON, a young boy sits at a dining room table. He is about 7 years old and wears a cape, a super hero eye mask, and gold plastic bracelets, a la Wonder Woman. It’s an extravagant outfit for a Sunday morning. He is working earnestly at a small tablet computer, surrounded by a stack of young adult novels, papers, and stuffed animals. His mother, MARTHA, sits at one end of the table, reading the newspaper and drinking a coffee. She wears sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and her hair is pulled back. Her cell phone sits nearby on the table, along with a legal pad of paper and a pencil.
JASON
Momma when are we going again?
MARTHA (she’s engrossed in the paper)
Not for another week, honey.
JASON
Why so long?
MARTHA
Because that’s when it plays, sweetheart.
JASON
But why?
MARTHA
Well, that’s when the singers will be ready to perform.
JASON
Why does it take them so long?
MARTHA
Singers have to practice, Jason. They have to do very special things with their voices, and they have to remember their movements. It’s hard. Remember when you did that play in school last year?
JASON
Which one?
MARTHA
The one where you played the little lamb?
JASON
Oh. Yeah. I remember.
MARTHA
It’s kind of like that. You had to memorize lines didn’t you?
JASON
I had one line, Momma.
MARTHA
Just one? I thought you had lots of lines.
JASON
All I said was “Baaahhh.”
MARTHA
But you said it lots of times, honey. I thought you were very good.
JASON
Thanks.
MARTHA goes back to the paper. JASON is silent for a moment. He moves one of the stuffed animals to sit in front of the keyboard. He sets up the computer carefully, then presses a button, and we hear the countdown for the picture. It snaps, and JASON moves the stuffed animal back to its original location. He looks at MARTHA reading the paper.
JASON
Momma?
MARTHA
Yes, Jason?
JASON
What’s a courtesan?
MARTHA
What?
JASON
What’s a courtesan?
MARTHA (putting her newspaper down)
Uh, where did you hear that word?
JASON
I don’t know.
MARTHA
Jason?
JASON
I said I don’t know.
MARTHA
How can you not know?
JASON
I just don’t.
MARTHA
Well, it’s not a word that you need to know.
MARTHA picks up her newspaper and starts reading again, but peeks around the side to check in on her son. JASON ignores her and goes back to his computer. The two settle back into their routine. JASON begins to type on his computer. He smiles broadly and makes a large gesture with his hand, hitting a button on the computer. The computer begins to play a recording of La Traviata, Act I, “Libiamo Ne’lieti Calici.” Jason air conducts a bit with one of his pencils.
MARTHA
Honey, can you turn that down a little?
JASON
But Mom, we have to study. It’s next week!
MARTHA
We’ve been studying plenty, now please turn it down.
JASON
I don’t want to!
MARTHA
Jason!
JASON
How can I know what’s going on if I don’t study and you won’t tell me what a courtesan is? How can I, Momma? Uncle Mark says–
MARTHA
Is that where you heard that word?
JASON
Yes. From Uncle Mark.
MARTHA
Of course, from Uncle Mark. I’m going to crown your Uncle Mark.
JASON
Momma, Uncle Mark says that it’s very important to know what’s happening at the opera.
MARTHA
I know what your Uncle Mark says. Maybe if Uncle Mark would mind his business, you wouldn’t be so worried about courtesans.
JASON
But what is one? Uncle Mark says they’re special ladies. Uncle Mark says that Violetta is the most special lady in Traviata. Does that mean she’s like Ms. Turner?
MARTHA
Ms. Turner is your teacher!
JASON
But you say she’s a special lady all the time.
MARTHA
Yes, honey, but she’s a different kind of special lady. I’m going to crown your Uncle Mark.
JASON
So why is Violetta special? Does her being a courtesan make her special?
MARTHA
I guess it does.
JASON
How is she special?
MARTHA
I don’t know. I guess she just is. Now go back to taking pictures of your stuffed animals.
JASON (reaching for the cell phone on the table)
I’ll call Uncle Mark and ask him again.
MARTHA (grabs the phone)
No, you won’t!
JASON
But I want to know.
MARTHA
Jason—
JASON
Why can’t I know? I WANT TO KNOW!
JASON slams hit little hand on the table.
MARTHA
Jason, go to your room! Now!
JASON
I’m sorry sorry sorry. I just want to know, Momma.
MARTHA
I said NOW!
JASON
I’m sorry. Please, no room? Pretty please? I’ll even shut off the music. (He shuts it off.)
MARTHA is glaring at him, but the absurdity of the super hero outfit and the opera and the situation about the word is too much for her, and she begins to laugh.
JASON
Why are you laughing?
MARTHA
Because it’s funny, Jason.
JASON
What’s funny?
MARTHA
It just is. That word. Courtesan. (She laughs)
JASON
Uncle Mark did not think it was funny, Momma. He said this courtesan’s story is very sad.
MARTHA
Well, your uncle would know.
JASON
Uncle Mark is bringing us to the opera, and I want us to know. He said that we need to know the story. It’s not in English, you know, Momma. We need to know the story and the music before we go.
MARTHA realizes that the peaceful Sunday morning will not stay peaceful unless she gives up some information about the courtesan. She sets down her paper and takes a deep breadth. JASON is all ears.
MARTHA
So I don’t know what happens in this opera so well, sweetheart. I’ve never been before.
JASON
Never been to the opera?
MARTHA
I’ve been to the opera, Jason—
JASON
With Dad?
MARTHA
Oh no. Of course not. Your father wouldn’t set foot in a theatre, much less an opera house.
JASON
Why not?
MARTHA
Jason, your father is not so interested in music.
JASON
But he’s always listening to music when I spend the weekend with him.
MARTHA
That’s a different kind of music, honey. Your father likes rock and roll. Not opera.
JASON
It’s really loud.
MARTHA
Yeah, your father likes it loud.
JASON
Jackie’s loud too.
MARTHA
I’m not surprised. Your father likes music and ladies louder than I did.
JASON
Uh huh. (pause) I don’t like Jackie so much.
MARTHA
Me either. (She catches herself.) I mean, you should be very nice to Jackie.
JASON
Why?
MARTHA
Because your father likes Jackie, and you need to try to like her too.
JASON
But she’s so loud. And she wears funny makeup. Her eyebrows are weird.
MARTHA
Just don’t look at them. That’s what I do.
MARTHA makes a face and the two start to giggle.
JASON
Mom! That’s not nice.
MARTHA
Just don’t tell your father I said that. But it helps if you don’t look.
JASON
I’ll try that next time.
MARTHA
Good.
MARTHA sips her coffee starts to go back to the paper.
JASON
So who did you go to the opera with?
MARTHA
I went with Uncle Mark, when we were kids. Grandma and Grandpa used to take us. We’d go every Christmas to see La bohème.
JASON
I know that one. Uncle Mark plays that one for me. That’s the one with Mimi, right?
MARTHA
That’s right. Mimi, Rodolpho, Marcello—
JASON
Colline
MARTHA
Shaunard, Benoît—
JASON
And Musetta! She’s my favorite!
MARTHA
Me too!
JASON
Uncle Mark plays her song all the time when I go there, and he kind of dances around the house.
MARTHA
That sounds familiar. He did that when we were kids.
JASON
How old is Uncle Mark?
MARTHA
He’s 41.
JASON
He doesn’t act like he’s that old.
MARTHA
Well, don’t ever let your Uncle Mark here you say his name and “old” in the same sentence. You won’t get invited for sleepover weekends anymore.
JASON
Uncle Mark is a lot of fun, Momma. And I like Uncle Steve too. They always take me for ice cream.
MARTHA
Your uncles love you very much, Jason. That’s why they’re taking us to the opera. They want you to know about these things.
JASON
Right. That’s what they said. Uncle Steve said I need to be well-rounded.
MARTHA
Yes.
JASON
They said that I could be the first soccer player-super hero-opera singer if I wanted to be.
MARTHA
Is that what they said?
JASON
Yeah, I told them that’s what I wanted to be, and they said that was great! Dad and Jackie just laughed at me when I told them that. Why did they laugh, Momma?
MARTHA
Because your father is not so interested in stuff like this. And he also doesn’t like your uncles like you and I do.
JASON
I know.
MARTHA
I know you know.
There’s silence for a moment. JASON seems sad about this last comment about his uncles. But it passes, like a high cloud on a summer day, and he’s back.
JASON
OK, Momma, so back to my question. What’s a courtesan?
MARTHA
Jason, I told you we are not talking about that.
JASON
When I asked Uncle Mark how a courtesan was special, he told me it was your job to tell me. Uncle Steve said you would figure out a way. Uncle Mark told me to keep asking. He told me not to take no for an answer.
MARTHA
Of course he did…
JASON
So?
It’s clear that MARTHA has no way out. She begins to search for the appropriate words.
MARTHA
OK, sweetheart. Uh, let’s see how I can explain this so you’ll understand. A courtesan is a special lady. But not like your teacher, Ms. Turner. A courtesan likes to do nice things for a man.
JASON
Like Grandma for Grandpa?
MARTHA
Uh, NO! Very different from that. Very different. Not the same at all and don’t ever say that to Grandma. Uh. Let’s see. It’s a special lady who wears a lot of makeup and special clothes and she makes the man that she works for feel very good. Does that make sense?
JASON
Kind of.
MARTHA
It does.
JASON
I guess so. Does the lady always have to work for the man?
MARTHA
Well, I guess not. Why?
JASON
Cause it kinda sounds like Jackie.
MARTHA
What?
JASON
A courtesan kinda sounds like Jackie. She wears a lot of makeup and special clothes all the time. Stuff that’s too tight. And when I stay over, Dad’s always saying how she makes him feel so good. And then she makes all these goofy faces at him.
MARTHA
Sounds about right. You made a good connection there, honey.
JASON
Yeah, I think I get it.
MARTHA
You do. You really do.
MARTHA smiles at her son. He goes back to his computer, grabs a stuffed animal, and takes a picture again. MARTHA moves to pick up her paper.
JASON
Mom?
MARTHA
Yes, honey?
JASON
Can we call Jackie “Violetta” here at home?
MARTHA is a little taken aback by this request.
MARTHA
Uh, why do you want to do that?
JASON
I don’t know. I just think it would be fun.
MARTHA
I’m not so sure, sweetie. It feels a little mean.
JASON
But it’s just here at home. Pleeeaaase?
MARTHA looks at her son, smiles to herself.
MARTHA
OK. But only at home. And don’t you dare tell your Uncle Mark. This is our secret, OK?
JASON
OK.
MARTHA
Promise?
JASON
I promise, Mom. I promise.
MARTHA smiles at JASON. She picks up her newspaper and goes back to reading. JASON turns on the music again and air conducts as the lights fade to black and music surges.