same-sex marriage » Joe Salvatore

Marriage Rights in NY State: A reality

Jun 252011

I feel surprisingly happy about the passage of the same-sex marriage bill in New York state. While I still have questions about why we want this institution to define and validate our homosexual relationships, I’m fascinated at the possibilities that seem to unfold as a result of this new law.

My boyfriend and I watched the final moments of the debate on the Senate floor last evening, then watched the vote, kind of by accident, as we channel surfed looking at other programs on television. Of course, the commentary following the vote was full of rhetoric and interviews with people spouting unrealistic expectations on the streets of New York City. Yes, marriage equality has arrived, but the legislation doesn’t automatically change the feelings of people who still discriminate against or “tolerate” LGBT people. For example, as quoted by CNN.com, the delightful Catholic bishops of New York had the following to say:

“‘We worry that both marriage and the family will be undermined by this tragic presumption of government in passing this legislation that attempts to redefine these cornerstones of civilization,’ the state’s Catholic bishops said in a joint statement released late Friday. It was signed by Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan and seven other bishops.”

That’s the pot calling the kettle black, people. An institution rife with scandal for centuries talking about the cornerstones of civilization. I love the irony of these guys who wear the fancy robes and the big hats thinking that they have the special 4-1-1 Bat Phone to Jesus.

But this is what I mean about banging the tambourine a little early. Marriage equality is one step forward among many steps that need to be taken on the road to equality for LGBT people. I know that it’s a big step, but we can’t assume that the world can now be viewed through rose-colored glasses. We’ve got work to do in our communities, particularly in our schools, and the way that we “teach tolerance.” I don’t like being “tolerated.” Accepted and embraced as fully equal is more up my alley. So let’s use marriage equality as a step towards true, full change in our society. If I see that happen in my lifetime, I’ll join the celebration. Fully.

The road to anarchy is paved with not the sharpest stones from the quarry

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Jun 162011

I woke up this morning to a CNN.com posting with the title, “Super Bowl hero warns of ‘anarchy’ if NY approves gay marriage.”

Huh?

As many people know, my boyfriend and I are not beating any civic or church organization’s door down to step in and publicly declare our nuptials for each other. I think marriage is an antiquated institution that reflects an Old World way of thinking about relationships between two people. However, I’m finally starting to accept that it’s a step that many people need to take to validate their relationship. For those who are married, I respect the choice, and I hope that you and your partner have found a multitude of ways to navigate it so that the arrangement works for you, regardless of your sexual orientation.

The retired NY Giants “hero,” David Tyree, famous for his helmet catch in Super Bowl XLII, came out yesterday in defense of marriage between a man and a woman in a video statement for the National Organization for Marriage. As the NY state House of Representatives approved a bill for same-sex marriage legislation yesterday, the opposition needed to pull in the “big guns.” Suffice it to say, there are a few ironies swirling around this statement from Tyree.

First off, Tyree did jail time for a 2004 drug possession charge. You can read about that story in the New York Times article here. That same article also reveals that his estranged girlfriend and now wife was pregnant when he came out of jail. So drug use and pre-marital sex leading to a pregnancy. I’m thrilled that David Tyree has become a rehabilitated, God-fearing, testifying Christian. That’s delightful for him. I’m not so happy about him being held up as someone that we should listen to about the state of the world. Just live your quiet, very wealthy, post-helmet catch life, and leave everyone else alone.

Second, according to the CNN post, Tyree says that “the [New York state] bill’s passage would be the beginning of our country sliding toward…anarchy.”

Oh really?

Doesn’t our helmet catch “hero” realize that in very recent history, people would have said the same thing about African Americans having the right to vote or go to school with white people, which he would have done when he attended Syracuse University? This is not the sharpest position for him to take. And worse (or better for those who think about and respect history), the National Organization for Marriage is putting this guy and this position at the forefront of its campaign to stop the passage of the bill for same-sex marriage in New York state.

These anti-gay people are getting more and more desperate, and they’re resorting to spokespeople with sketchy credentials to speak for their positions.

I know. They aren’t “anti-gay,” they’re against same-sex marriage. “There’s a difference.”

Whatever.

Find some sharper stones in your quarry, people. But remember, lay them down gently (as Renee Post likes to say) and don’t throw them. You just had your windows cleaned.