ALEX
I think you’re being way too protective.
LORI
Alex, please? You don’t have to go home with her tonight. I do. DO NOT say anything.
ALEX
OK, OK. So weird. … I can’t believe it’s such a big deal.
LORI
Believe me. It’s a big deal.
ALEX
Is she like this about everything?
LORI
Not everything. But when it comes to our relationship, she keeps it quiet. Although, I've heard a couple of things here that were news to me.
ALEX
Like what?
LORI
Like her trips as a kid. Like her mom working as a bank teller.
ALEX
Her mom worked as a bank teller. What’s the big deal?
LORI
If you knew her mother…
(Lori is silent as she takes it all in.)
LORI
She never told me any of that...
ALEX
Why not?
LORI
Not totally sure. ... Between you and me--
ALEX (holds up his hand)
Girl Scouts Pledge
LORI
Thanks... Jennifer's family can be a little challenging. Her dad is an academic, but he comes from money. So Jennifer says that they struggled before her mom started working, but it was more that her dad was pretty stingy with the finances.
ALEX
Uh huh.
LORI
I mean Jen went to Dalton.
ALEX
The Dalton School here in the city?
LORI
Yeah. Super chi chi Dalton.
ALEX
And that's why she won't answer me about where she went to school.
LORI
She doesn't like to talk about it because she says people get the wrong idea.
ALEX
Well, it does conjure up certain images doesn't it? Fancy lunches?
LORI
Snotty parents?
ALEX
Teachers who really want to be college professors?
LORI
Massive tuition costs. And in her family's case, it was times two. She and her brother both went there. I mean, I think you get a break when you send more than one kid, but still.
ALEX
It's a massive amount of money.
LORI
Right. And Jen's parents couldn’t afford to send their kids there on a junior professor's salary supplemented by a bank teller's salary. Her grandparents paid for it.
ALEX
How'd they make their money?
LORI
Her grandfather made some very smart investments in real estate after World War II, and those properties just skyrocketed in value. Then he bought one of those private country clubs in the Adirondacks--
ALEX
Like in Dirty Dancing?
LORI
Just like that, except no Johnny to get Baby out of the corner.
ALEX
Dare to dream… Have you been?
LORI
Closed now, but we've driven up there to see the property. Beautiful countryside. Totally dilapidated buildings, but the cheese factor was clear. Jen remembers visiting it as a kid, just before it closed.
ALEX
Those exclusive places are so awful.
LORI
I'm glad I only saw the aftermath. Anyway, all that to say that Jen doesn't talk about any of it. She's shared it with me because I kinda forced her to. But she hates it when other people know.
ALEX
Yet she works in that world. I mean, it protects her in some ways, right?
LORI
All I'll say is that she's a great teacher, and she loves her job. She has me come in and talk about being a professor every year, and I spend the day. I'm amazed at what she does with her girls. I'm good for my 45-minute presentation, and after that I'm done. I'll take the college students any day of the week over the little ones.
ALEX
Definitely not something I could do.
(Alex drains his glass.)
ALEX
I'm not sure I'll be good with one, much less a roomful.
LORI
Are you guys thinking of having a kid?
ALEX
Oh, we're beyond the thinking. Actively pursuing is more accurate?
LORI
Really? I didn't peg you as the child rearing type.
ALEX
I'll take that as a compliment, and then say that neither did I. But Gary really wants to have a baby. He's agreed to take the paternity leave, and his firm had all that in place. My architecture firm is too small to accommodate my leaving for any amount of time, so Gary knows the score. I told him if he wanted a kid, he was going to bear the brunt of it.
LORI
You don't sound so enthused.
ALEX
It's not that. I think it could be a good experience. I also think I have good DNA so I should leave it behind, and--
LORI
So it's your sperm?
ALEX
Yeah. We tried once with Gary's and--
(At this moment, the front door opens and Gary and Jennifer come in with the food. They are laughing and chatting.)
GARY (coming in with the bags)
So Alex said to him that we really needed a better room than the one they gave us, and he said--
ALEX
Jesus, not the hotel homophobe story again.
GARY
What? It's a good story.
ALEX
I'm not sure I'd call it good, and you’ve told it at every dinner party we’ve thrown since it happened.
GARY
I think it bears repeating.
ALEX
Here, gimme the bags. I don't need to hear it again.
JENNIFER
So what happened?
LORI
Now you have to start at the beginning.
GARY
Oh gosh, well not all the way back. Long story short, Alex and I take a trip to Hawaii to one of these really private resorts. It was meant to be a get away after we both finished these big projects at work. I had a major merger of two companies and Alex did the ribbon cutting on a children's museum he did in Sacramento. I met him there, and then we flew to Hawaii. When we got to the resort, we went to check in, and the host put us in this bungalow way at the back. They started to walk us there, and Alex stopped the bellboy helping us with our bags and made us go back to the desk. He proceeded to ask why weren't at the front of the resort. We had requested beach views and easy access to the water.
LORI
Ah. Here it comes.
GARY
Has this happened to you?
LORI
Maybe. Finish the story.
GARY
The guy at the desk said that it was a family resort, and that he needed to be careful about where he placed us. Given our “relationship.”
LORI
When was this?
GARY
Last year. Early March.
LORI
I thought Hawaii was supposed to be gay-friendly.
GARY
I'm just reporting our experience.
JENNIFER
So what happened?
GARY
Alex called the guy a homophobe, which he tried to deny. Alex then turned to another couple with their two young kids waiting to check in and asked if they had a problem with us being there. They were terrified. Alex basically raised a big stink until the guy moved us to the front of the resort. We got a complimentary bottle of champagne at dinner that night and an apology from the manager the next day.
JENNIFER
Wow...
LORI
Good for you guys.
JENNIFER
I don't have that kind of guts. We would have been at the back of the resort.
GARY
The reality is that Alex hates to argue about stuff like this. In fact, neither of us wants special treatment--
LORI
But that wasn't asking for special treatment. It was asking for what you requested.
GARY
Right. And they had confirmed it. So Alex made the point. I'm with you, Jennifer. We would have been in the back if he left it up to me. But Alex wasn't having it.
(Alex comes in from the kitchen carrying two bowls of food. Lori raises her empty cocktail glass.)
LORI
Excellent work there, Alex. Take down "The Man."
ALEX
Uh, God, I hate that story.
LORI
Why? It's great!
ALEX
I'm glad we got the bungalow at the front, but I hate that kind of victim game we have to play sometimes. I'm not interested in being anyone's charity case. Plus the guy I yelled at wouldn't look at us the rest of the time we were there.
GARY
And Alex thought he was cute.
ALEX
He was.
GARY
And he tried valiantly to get his attention again.
ALEX
I think anyone with that kind of discomfort is just a homo in waiting. I was trying to help.
(Alex leaves to get the next bit of food.)
GARY
His way of helping was to go to the front desk in just his speedo and ask for an extra key.
JENNIFER
Oh!
GARY
That's what they said. As you saw before, Alex has very little shame when it comes to--
LORI
With good reason.
GARY
Trust me, I'm not complaining, but when he stuffs his biz-ness into a speedo, it's a lot to handle.
LORI
No pun intended.
JENNIFER
Don't be so crass, Lori.
LORI
We're among friends, Jennifer.
JENNIFER
But still.
GARY
Not to worry, Honey. I think we’re on the same side here. But a little off color humor never hurts. Just to say, a tisket, a tasket, there’s a whole lot in his basket.
(Gary and Lori howl with laughter, and Jennifer tries to join in, but she’s not so amused.)
GARY
So has this happened to you two?
LORI
Not at a hotel like this, but it happens.
JENNIFER
What are you talking about?
LORI (ignoring Jennifer)
There was this time at an airport when they wouldn’t let us check in together because our last names were different.
GARY
How long ago was that?
LORI
It was right around our first year anniversary, so five years ago? We were flying back from a friend of mine’s wedding.
JENNIFER
We were in North Dakota.
GARY
I’m sorry.
LORI
No, it was beautiful, but gayness is not so much on the radar screen there. We ended up just doing what they wanted us to do—
JENNIFER
Checking in for the flight separately. Not a big deal.
LORI
But it is a big deal when you want to do this trip back with the person you just attended a wedding with and have been dating for a year.
GARY
She’s got a point.
(Alex enters with the next bowls of food.)
ALEX
Let’s get to the table before it gets cold.
JENNIFER
She also thinks that we’re regularly seated at the back of any restaurant we go to because we’re lesbians.
LORI
There is a distinct pattern about where we get seated.
JENNIFER
I think it’s all in your head.
ALEX
That happens to us at this one restaurant around the corner.
GARY
They always seat us away from the door, kind of off to the side and in the back, like they don’t want patrons to see us.
LORI
I hate that.
GARY
We keep saying that we’re not going back, but then we cave because they have great cocktails.
ALEX
They’re always nice to us once we’re seated, but I’m pretty sure they want to keep the gays in the back.
LORI
Even in New York City?
ALEX
We like to think this place is one big gay-topia, but there are little plots of discomfort all over.
JENNIFER
Well, places have a right to seat people wherever they have space, right?
ALEX
You would have more experience with this, right?
JENNIFER
What do you mean?
LORI
Alex…?
ALEX
Your granddad owned a resort up in the mountains?
JENNIFER
What?
LORI (trying to change the subject)
Alex, can I get another drink please?
GARY
Your parents owned a resort up in the mountains? Which one?
JENNIFER
No, my grandparents. How did you know that?
(Alex looks at Lori who looks down at the floor.)